Killer Queen
by ShiroKitsune
Summary: The interpretation of professed and implied intentions can lead one into dangerous territory when it comes to matters of the heart.
1. Sayonara

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not Now. Not Ever.

A/N: I did this in regards to a class assignment. One of the only classes, incidentally, I make it to on a regular basis. I swear if I sleep through one more British History or Journalism, or skip one more Chemistry class to go to the mall, I'm going to be in wicked trouble when finals roll around. Damn the temptation that is my bed on a cold morning. Must get to class. Must get to class....

* * *

I didn't expect to live after my fight with Vicious. I said my goodbyes to Jet, Faye, and the Bebop. Really, I did what I started. I beat Vicious, avenged Julia's death, and Hell, I managed to blow up half of the Red Dragon Syndicate before I fell. So, when I woke up in this soundless dark limbo, I wasn't surprised. I just kind of wished I could have a cigarette before judgment hit. And I knew judgment was coming for me. I figured I wasn't going to be headed toward any kind of heaven. But maybe I could see Julia before they tossed me straight down to hell. Who knows, maybe I'd manage to reconcile with Vicious while I'm there? And maybe coffee and cigarettes will fall from the sky too? Anyway, the point is, this limbo had to be the end of my dream. This had to be the end of that nightmare, right? So why was there crying?

Sayonara

By ShiroKitsune

"I hate you." Those were the first words I heard followed by the sound of crying. It took me a few moments to realize that the voice was Faye and I'll admit that for a moment I thought maybe she was dead too. Had the shrew woman followed me into that mess and ended up getting herself killed?

"I wish you had died," she said next. Well, I guess that means I'm not dead yet. Figures, I get filled with bullets and well near blown up and I still can't die. Damn, Death has to be out there just laughing his bony ass off.

"Why are you doing this? You told me the past didn't matter. I got my memory back. I had nothing to go back to. The Bebop was all I had. Why do you have to be such a selfish bastard?" Trust the shrew to fight me when I have no words to fight back. Typical.

"Because, he is a selfish bastard." There was another voice. One that was much deeper and louder.

Jet.

"Ah, Jet. I was just-"Faye trailed off. I could almost see her wringing her hands in her lap and biting her lip.

I couldn't feel my eyelids. I couldn't feel my body.

"Faye," Jet said. "This has to stop. It isn't healthy."

"I do a lot of things that aren't healthy," she said. "That's what makes life fun."

"Don't try and turn this around Faye. You have a decision you have to make. You can't keep on like this." I could hear a chair being pushed back and then the sound of her heels snapping the linoleum as she probably went toe to toe with Jet.

"Faye," Jet warned in a tone I'd never heard him use on her before.

Damn. Why can't I open my eyes? I want to fucking see them. Why can't I move?

"I can't do it," she said with that tremble returning to her voice. "He's a selfish bastard, Jet. And I'm a selfish bitch."

That was it. No goodbye. Just her heels clicking out of the room and fading down the hallway. I could hear Jet clench and unclench his fists. His breathing slowed down and his voice returned.

"She's right you know. You are a selfish bastard. And she is a selfish bitch. But I guess I'm selfish too. I want back what we had. I knew better though. I knew not to come after you. You made your damn decision, no matter how selfish it was." Jet sighed. No one understood. I didn't go off to die. I was already dead.

"They say you can still hear us. It's probably killing you to not talk back. I'd think she would be here all the time. After all, this is the only time she could talk to you without being interrupted."

Whatever, Jet. Damn. I wonder if this is how his bonsai feel. Sitting there is vegetable helplessness.

"She's the one who went after you."

I know.

"I told her not too. But you know, she never listens."

I know she never listens. That's just who she is. There was a silence.

"You're killing her."

The hell? That was abrupt. And then Jet's voice launched off into some half coherent rant against me. It was strange, even emotional, and not particularly lucid.

"...she sends a damn bouquet every month. Every month roses appear on Julia's grave in your name. She's killing herself bringing in these damn bounties to pay your hospital bills. And it's killing her. You're killing her. And I'm a selfish bastard too." The rant dribbled off into nothing.

What? The shrew was doing what? I must have brain damage. Or maybe I really am dead. This can't be the same world I knew.

"So do you understand? Can you hear me Spike? We're all selfish. You have to decide. You have to decide what's important. You can't just lie there any longer like some kind of vampire, sucking the life out of Faye. If you want to die and find your Julia, then die. If you want to come back where you belong, then wake up." I could hear him moving toward the door.

"But you're killing Faye the way you are now." His voice was lowering. "I'm a selfish bastard too." Then there were no more voices. Just the slow steps of Jet receding down the hall.

Now somehow this whole fucked up mess is back in my lap. I never asked the shrew to follow me. I never asked her to save me.

I never expected her to send flowers to Julia's grave. I never thought she would care so much about me. I never thought I'd see the day the shrew woman cried. The day heartless Poker Alice, Faye Valentine cried over me.

But my angel, my golden haired Julia was waiting. The dream was over, right?

It's true though. I told Faye that the past didn't matter. We were all she had left. Could I really be the selfish bastard now?

Ah well, Sayonara.


	2. Lucidity of Movement

Disclaimer: QQQQ! (think about it)

A/N: Part two of my assignment. This time the story is in Jet's voice. I may or may not make another chapter. Who knows?

Lucidity of Movement

by ShiroKitsune

I hate hospitals. Ever since I woke up in one with my left arm gone and a metal one in its place, I've hated hospitals. Even now, after all these visits to Spike in the past year, I can't help but shiver a little every time I enter those glass front doors. This trip, this passage through those doors was no different to begin. I knew Faye was inside with Spike. Anymore, there were only three places she ever was at; the Bebop, the Hospital, or out catching bounties to support the former two places. She wasn't back on the ship, she wasn't out on a hunt, therefore, she must be here.

"...had nothing to go back to. The Bebop was all I had," I heard Faye's voice as I approached Spike's room. Even while fighting him, she sounded tired. I harbored for a moment the heart-clenching thought that Spike had awoken. I looked in the door and nearly sighed. Faye was beside him, kneeling on her chair, with her elbows on his bed and her head bowed. Her hair covered her face and shoulders like some kind of cloak. She hasn't cut it since Spike entered the hospital and it now fell below her shoulder blades. Her voice was something weak as she spoke to Spike and I had another confusing moment wondering if this woman even was Faye.

"Why do you have to be such a selfish bastard?" she said.

I almost smiled at that. I may have smiled a little at that. After all, that was definitely our Faye.

"Because, he is a selfish bastard," I said. Faye jumped a bit where she knelt and looked up at me in surprise. She looked back down quickly and wrung her hands in her lap.

"Ah, Jet. I was just-" she began but trailed off. Faye hadn't spoken much since this whole mess began. It was almost as though, at times, her confusion and emotions prevented her from stringing together a sentence. I tried look at her face but it was once again hidden below dull dark hair. My eyes sought another focus and the ridges of her ribs and her hips were beginning to press against the skin.

"Faye," I said. "This has to stop. It isn't healthy."

"I do a lot of things that aren't healthy," she said trying to be flippant. "That's what makes life fun."

No, Faye. You aren't getting out of this one so easily.

"Don't try and turn this around Faye. You have a decision you have to make. You can't keep on like this," I said. Faye pushed back the chair quickly and almost with her old spark. She came to stand right in front of me with those sad cold eyes looking into mine.

It sounds impossible, but somehow Faye has become nearly the sole support for the Bebop and she covers all of Spike's substantial hospital bills. Now, standing so close and seeing the bruises under her eyes, the translucence of her skin, I could see her fading away beneath the strain. Perhaps even becoming a ghost before me.

"Faye," I warned her. This was not a fight nor argument for us.

"I can't do it," she almost whispered. I knew then that she'd die before she ever gave up on him. "He's a selfish bastard, Jet. And I'm a selfish bitch." Then she stomped away before I could speak to her more.

Before I could tell her that he didn't love her.

I looked at Spike. The goddamn cause of this all. He looked so content in his bed. There were no bruises below his eyes, no ribs sticking out of him. He looked so comfortable. He wasn't struggling to survive.

I suppose, that made me a little bit angry.

"She's right you know. You are a selfish bastard," I snapped at Spike. "And she is a selfish bitch. But I guess I'm selfish too. I want back what we had. I knew better though. I knew not to come after you. You made your damn decision, no matter how selfish it was."

I sighed. What could I say? The bastard might not even be listening anyway. What could I say to make him understand?

"They say you can still hear us. It's probably killing you to not talk back. I'd think she would be here all the time. After all, this is the only time she could talk to you without being interrupted."

I paused. "She's the one who went after you."

"I told her not too. But you know, she never listens." I was silent for a while, trying to get my thoughts together. It didn't come out as I had planned.

"You're killing her." I said. Those words broke the floodgate I had in place.

"Faye does everything now. Everything for you and everything for the ship. She went out an found you after you left. She saved you. She lifted you up from the puddle of blood you were in and carried you to her Redtail. She didn't even leave your side for the first week or two. She didn't even leave you until she had to go out and get money for your bills. She came back, she payed your bills, and then, do you know what she did? She fucking goes out and puts a dozen roses on your damn Julia's grave. Julia, the woman who caused this whole mess,the one she knows she can't compete with for you. She sends a damn bouquet every month. Every month roses appear on Julia's grave in your name. She's killing herself bringing in these damn bounties to pay your hospital bills. And it's killing her. You're killing her. And I'm a selfish bastard too." I almost lost my voice yelling at him. But the gates were down. My words were clear.

"So do you understand? Can you hear me Spike? We're all selfish. You have to decide. You have to decide what's important. You can't just lie there any longer like some kind of vampire, sucking the life out of Faye. If you want to die and find your Julia, then die. If you want to come back where you belong, then wake up." I started toward the door. It almost disgusted me, him lying there, peaceful.

"But you're killing Faye the way you are now." I paused at the door and shook my head before I spoke to Spike.

"I'm a selfish bastard too."


End file.
